Metropolitan West™

The Pacific Division is considered to be the most elite, coolest, sexiest division in the National Hockey League. This division has been quite dominate over the past few seasons. Two Stanley Cups (go California!), a President’s Trophy /brushes off shoulder/ (Vancouver doesn’t count because they won in their old dumb division), and many trips to the playoffs. Men want to be the Pacific Division, women want to be with the Pacific Division. If all of this is true, then WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THE PACIFIC DIVISION?

I know you’re saying, “what do you mean, Stace? What bullshit theory do you have this time?” Well guys, I don’t really have a theory. I have noticed after reviewing the Pacific’s standings that they’re not doing so hot. As a division, the teams came out like bats out of hell (Calgary and Edmonton exempt) and some of the teams had their best starts. Now a few of the Pacific Division faithfuls have slowed dramatically, and in some cases, have come to a dead halt.

We spent a lot of our time in the offseason and this regular season making fun of the Metropolitan Division. “What a stupid name they have!” “These teams are terrible!” “Pittsburgh racks up so many points because they are in a division with these shit stained teams!” Now, most or all of these things are true, and yes, I was one of the many that spent night after night poking fun at this division. I had a very good time making fun of this division, and will probably continue doing so even after posting what I’m about to post.

Like I said before, I’ve been tracking the Pacific Standings; this started because of #TomasCursl but I’m done talking about that because it’s bigger than us. I am now studying a new hypothesis:

Is the Pacific Division worse than the Metropolitan Division as of late?

I know the first thing you’re thinking is “fuck off” and I get it, I wouldn’t want my favorite team’s division to be compared to the Metro either. OH WAIT! THIS IS KIND OF A PACIFIC DIVISION BLOG AND THE SHARKS ARE IN THE PACIFIC!! WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS??! I know you’re still thinking that I should fuck off, but before I do, let me show you some #CoolCharts I made.

The following charts are based on the last 22 games.

I repeat, the last 22 games.

Overall Records: Pacific Teams 67-71-16

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 12.26.43 AM

Overall Records: Metro Teams 98-58-20

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 8.03.31 AM

I know what you’re thinking and I don’t blame you. My numbers by comparison are very stupid because there is one more team in the Metro division. Even if I was to take away Pittsburgh from the Metro, they would still be 82-53-19, which is a winning record over the past 22 games. I also know that the numbers could be viewed as stupid because the Metro plays weaker opponents, like the Sabres, more often.

Nuff said.

Pacific vs. the East (18-21-6)

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 12.33.51 AM

Metro vs. the West (32-15-7)

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 12.35.54 AM

Here’s where we get into the thick of it. Once again, well aware that the Metro has more teams than the Pacific. Once again, if I took away Pittsburgh, the Metro would still have a winning record vs. the West. The Pacific has gotten 42 points out of a possible 90 (46%) vs. the east and the Metro has gotten 71 points out of a possible 108 (66%) vs. the west.

Pacific vs. Metro (10-10-3)

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 1.06.39 AM

Metro vs. Pacific (14-6-3)

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 1.09.51 AM

This is where the numbers are going to be evenly matched because in total, the Pacific has played 23 games against the Metro and vice versa. The Pacific has gotten 23 points out of a possible 46 points vs. the Metro and the Metro has gotten 31 points out of a possible 46 points.


Honorable Mentions:

  • The Los Angeles Kings have the worst record out of all the teams in the Pacific and Metro (also worse than Buffalo)
  • Even though the New York Islanders are seen as terrible, they are 12-9-1 in their last 22 games,  which is better than 5 out of 7 of the pacific teams
  • Suck it, Anaheim
  • Two Pacific teams have a winning record in the past 22 games
  • Seven out of eight teams in the Metro have a winning record in the past 22 games (loser points helped NJD)
  • Calgary and Edmonton doing better than 3 teams in the Metro and Pacific /high fives jean & floob/
  • #EatShitVancouver
  • Tomas Cursl is fucking awesome

In the question of “is the Pacific Division worse than the Metropolitan Division as of late?” numbers don’t lie, baby. Don’t hate the statistician, hate your Division.

Stace out.

One thought on “Metropolitan West™

  1. Looks like you’ve finally found your niche: compiling disappointing statistics of Pacific division teams.

    Keep up the good work, dude!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *