Hello there Canafornians!
Boy it has been a long time! Haterz said we were done but *cue The Carpenters* we’ve only just begun. I’ve been enjoying the summer solstice and trying to avoid all things Sharks hockey. I spent a week with floobz & jean and while I don’t want to bore you with the deetz, they are the best. ANYWAY, lets get down to business.
If you recall, I oosted Mike Modano from twitter (tomorrow is the six month anniversary, I’m going to make a maple brown sugar cake) due to a bet that I had with Jean. We all knew that I would lose the bet, but I couldn’t resist. Long story short, I tweeted Canadian at Modano relentlessly and he deleted his twitter account for four days. You can get the long story, here.
After Modano shamefully reactivated his twitter account, I decided to leave him alone for the most part. I mean, he’s just a retired hockey player trying to keep up with the times on the good ol’ twitter machine. He’s not so bad!
What a fool I am. Anyway, those familiar with my past work lit up the Stace signal
@stace_ofbase please chase modano off twitter again
— Torque Penderloin (@AndrewCieslak) September 23, 2014
I think it is time for Operation Stace Chases Modano Off Twitter Again
— Chadd Maia (@ChaddMaia) September 23, 2014
*cracks knuckles* I was ready to get back to it.
I googled phrases such as “canadian insult slang words” and “mean canadian words” to spice up my phrasing. If I’m gonna start relentlessly tweeting at Mikey, I gotta get new material. Did you guys know that calling someone a goof in Eastern Canada means that you’re calling someone a pedophile? Way to ruin harmless insults, you classless Canadian fucks.
Anyway, here we go!
Newfies are the Canadian answer to the United States’ inbreeds of the south. This is a very harsh burn right off the bat.
Because I owned Modano on line I decided to bury the hatchet because if I’m gonna speak Canadian, I gotta be nice.
My thought process after this tweet was that I should probably follow Modano again so I can keep up with his activities and maybe, just maybe, one day he will DM me and ask ME to go fer a rip one day (I am a 26 year old female, how could he resist?). But then this happened:
Seriously, Mike? Two tweets? I tweeted at you at least 40 times in a 3 day span and you didn’t block me then. Being called a Newfie must be super offensive. He must have finally recovered from falling off that stretcher and found the block button.
Just like most sequels, this wasn’t as good as the original but it still had it’s charm so I give myself three and a half pacific division banners.