We’re Back! A Canafornian’s Story

September 3rd, 2014

Greetings, Canafornians!

*three cord guitar riff plays in background* it’s beeeeeeen awhileeeeeeeee

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, let me tell you, there has been some major changes within Canafornia since we last attempted to do any sort of writing. Granted, we actually have continued writing, but not together and for three different websites. It came to our attention that writing without each other is the worst idea that we’ve ever had, because we have so much fun when we collaborate. Plus, there are actually a handful of people who aren’t us, that actually miss this website!

Uh, Who?

The Canafornians are Stace (@stace_ofbase), Floob (@bookofloob) & Jean (@JSBMjeanshorts). Stace digs the Sharks, Floob digs the Flams, & Jean tolerates the Oilers. We started this website in January of 2014. We wrote a bunch. We got lazy. And now, we’re back!

What’s the haps?

Well, lots of changes have occurred within the Calgary, Edmonton and San Jose organizations over the past year. Something that hasn’t changed was only one of the three teams were able to make the playoffs. The something that did change was that it was not San Jose. Calgary made us proud by becoming the little Canafornia team that could.

Although Calgary’s recent regular season success and brief playoff run seemed like a big fluke, their offseason has proven them to be a team who could actually make the playoffs without one thousand rabbits’ foots shoved up each individual players’ asses. The biggest acquisition of the offseason was Dougie Hamilton, and Canafornia’s drought ended thanks to the tears of Bruins fans. Thank you Flams.

San Jose missed the playoffs for the first time in over a decade and it was a well needed break for Sharks’ fans. It felt good basking in the misery of others rather than being relentlessly tortured. The offseason has been the most promising one in the past few seasons, there were some fallen Sharks (Hannan, Scott, Niemi, McLellan), there were additions (Jones, Martin, Ward, DeBoer), and there were many laughs to be had at the expense of the other two California hockey teams.

And then there’s Edmonton…oh Edmonton. By the grace of God, for some reason Edmonton ended up with the first overall pick that captured Connor McDavid due to him being unable to successfully enroll in the Canadian Witness Protection Program. Get your shit together, Canada. We lost another gord Canadian boy to Alberta’s Most Populated Ice Cube. They were also able to get their hands on their first NHL defenseman in 9 years, and they overpaid to acquire a 7th goaltender. As I stated above, McLellan left San Jose but he did not leave Canafornia, as he is the new Oilers head coach. Love you, tmac!

What’s new in Canafornia?

You know…nothing much. We reformatted the website. We think it looks pretty dope. Like I stated previously, we are going to actually write things because we like to Have Fun. We can’t promise content all the time, because we are busy people with actual lives, and also other blogs we are obligated to, but we will save all of our best content for this site, our first love.

What to expect?

More pacific grim gameday posts. Exclusive fan fiction about the mid-2000’s teen drama ‘The OC’ (don’t call it that). The Oilers to not really improve, unless Connor McDavid is cloned 20+ times and a few of them are taught to play defense. I don’t know. Beads.

#LongLiveCanafornia

#FuckStace

#FuckFloob

#FuckJean

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