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The San Jose Sharks As Actual Joses

 

Welcome, friends, to what is known as hockey blogging in late August. The postseason well off behind us on a distant, backwards facing horizon, of whose direction you never again intend on looking in. The draft, depending on who you cheer for perhaps comically come and gone, and free agency, well…that kinda sucked this year anyway, but golly, wouldn’t you appreciate something resembling a Cody Franson signing right about now so you could talk about it all day on twitter instead of attending to the relentless, mind numbing doldrums of your daily 9 to 5?

I know I sure would, because my life is very, very sad.

But we must push on in the absent of actual news, and someone around here has to provide you with some good ass content, and if all the big blogs out there aren’t going to do it, brother, The Canafornians have got you covered.

We’re here to provide a different, perhaps more inconsequential voice to the hockey blogosphere. Hell, some might call what we have to say downright stupid. To which I reply, fuck you.

You might say “boy you’d never see this on one of the bigger blogs”. To which I’d counter with, well duh.

This is one of those posts. Today, I present to you, complete with the lack of irony in which it was intended, If The San Jose Sharks Looked Like Actual Joses. Yes, I’m serious.

(editors note: none of the San Jose Sharks look like Jose Carreras. Apologies for the misleading title photo, opera fans)

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We’re Back! A Canafornian’s Story

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Greetings, Canafornians!

*three cord guitar riff plays in background* it’s beeeeeeen awhileeeeeeeee

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, let me tell you, there has been some major changes within Canafornia since we last attempted to do any sort of writing. Granted, we actually have continued writing, but not together and for three different websites. It came to our attention that writing without each other is the worst idea that we’ve ever had, because we have so much fun when we collaborate. Plus, there are actually a handful of people who aren’t us, that actually miss this website!

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Writing about my favorite sport is terrifying

As I’ve written more and more about hockey over the last several months, it has been a hell of a ride. It’s great getting feedback from people, and even the fact that people are interested in what I have to say, is something I cannot fully comprehend. Even if I get a positive response from things I do, I still am just completely horrified. I haven’t felt this insecure about something in a long, long time. It’s agonizing really.

I know that the things I write about aren’t for everyone, and I know that it can piss off a lot of people, and that part is fun. I care about those who I have made friends with as I’ve interacted more with other hockey fans, those who have been supportive, those who are just as passionate about the sport as I am, and hell, people who are brilliant writers who I respect so much and look up to. People who make me want to strive to be a better writer.
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View From The Other Other Side: Flames @ Blues with Mike Darnay

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Your Calgary Flames, fresh off a back to back set with long time rivals and Guardians of the Royal Commission of Trash against Vancouver and Edmonton, hit the ice again tonight for a tilt with the maybe-improved-but-probably-not-really-but-still-actually-damn-good St. Louis Blues.

Kind of an expected debut to the season for the Flames. Both games had it’s ups and downs, the Flames got horribly out-possessed whenever Mikael Backlund, TJ Brodie, or Mark Giordano weren’t on the ice, Johnny Gaudreau showed flashes of how good he’s probably going to become, and the team relied far too heavily on a couple of overworked goalies who handled themselves extremely well. All this means is a half decent 1-1 record. Get used to most of this as the season goes on. Except the .500 record.

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Trevor Gillies Is A Big Ol’ Piece Of Shit

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I’m sure this comes as a big shock to you

Hi, Canafornians, I come to you tonight as a Flames fan outraged and embarrassed. Mostly embarrassed. And for reasons parallel to the usual!

I’m here to gripe about Trevor Gillies, alleged hockey player, confirmed sociopath, and overall menace to civilization. Basically I’m saying this guy is a criminal and a danger to anyone within a 6 foot radius.

Here’s the thing:

It’s 2014, okay? This is unacceptable. Gillies, inexplicably in the roster in the inaugural Adirondack Flames season, for no real reason at all aside from “hey, it’s pretty obvious Willy Carrier doesn’t want to fight me and I don’t like that”, slams Carrier’s head into the ice after knocking him over. Quick reminder that ice is a very hard surface and it’s bad to try and grind someone’s important face and brain into it.

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