Play It Again Sam (In A Different City)

Depending on which side of the aisle you sit on yesterday was either a great day (and you’re stupid and I hate you) or it was a pretty disappointing one (and you’re smart and probably very good looking). Either way we’re all going to have to figure out a new player to argue about now that Sam Gagner has been traded to the Tampazona Lioytes in exchange for Teddy (Ted) Purcell.

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The inevitable happened.

The Sharks lost.

In the worst way possible.

In a weird way I’m more grateful for this season than others. This season I came out of my shell and it enabled me to meet some of the greatest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’ve developed great friendships with people I would not have known if it was not for this hockey team, so I thank you San Jose. Thank you for introducing me to great people, great times, and giving me 6 months of happiness. This year has been a tough year for me personally and hockey gave me that much needed escape from reality. Thank you. Whenever I felt down about things in my life, I knew I always had a game to look forward to, and you did me a great service. Thank you San Jose. I’m gonna always love you.

I love you all. Thank you so much for following along this season. I’m glad that you’ve found our writing somewhat enjoyable and we look forward to covering next season.

#FuckAnaheim

WCQF GAME 7: The Kübler-Ross model

I guess the bottomline is that tonight will either be a relief or the worst thing to happen in Sharks history. Just when I think that this hockey team couldn’t make themselves any more embarrassing than they already are, they miraculously out do themselves again. It doesn’t help that this is happening against our biggest rivals either. It doesn’t help that I happen to live in Southern California. If this collapse happens, wearing a Sharks logo in Southern California will be the equivalent of Hester Prynne wearing the ‘A’. Like Hester Prynne though, no matter the circumstances of tonight’s game, I will continue to wear my ‘A’ proudly, while simultaneously living an uneventful life. Some will say it’s because that’s what diehard fans do, some will say it’s because I’m stubborn, and others will say it’s because I look good in teal. It’s pretty much all of those things. The truth is that although this team puts me through hell year in and year out, I still love them and refuse to ignore how fun it is to follow them, even though the result is never what one would desire. With that being said, this still sucks. A lot.

I realize that many of you are having a hard time dealing with this collapse, and I also having a less than easy time dealing with it as well. Before heading into tonight’s game, lets spend a little bit of time going over the Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, for you non-psychology people.

1. Denial – This is when one is trying to shut out the magnitude of their situation and develop a false, preferable reality. Examples of this would be “we haven’t lost a game 7 on home ice since 2007!” “There’s no way we can lose this one!” *watches Jamie Baker game 7 goal over & over again until eyes bleed*

2. Anger – This is the realization that one’s false reality is bullshit. This is when one gets really angry and take it out on friends and loved ones (or random strangers via twitter). An example of this would be, “fuck this team, fuck the kings, fuck you.” A truly angry person would then proceed to call their team plural six-letter C word that will say not discuss because it is rude and worse than the 4-letter C word.

3. Bargaining – This is the hope that one can somehow undo or avoid a cause of grief. An example of this would be “I promise to go to ALL the round two games if you win tonight, and I’ll even wait for Corey Perry after the games in Honda Center to spear him in the nuts.” (Side note: win or lose, I might do the second part of that example)

4. Depression – This is when one begins to understand the certainty of death (or in this case, a hockey season perhaps coming to an end). One becomes detached from those they care about and find very little meaning in life. An example of this is “why bother watching? They’re just going to disappoint me no matter what. I don’t even know why I follow this godforsaken shithole of a team”

5. Acceptance – This is when individuals begin to come to terms with their inevitable future. An example of this would be “it’s going to be okay. Win or lose, it was an exciting season. I hope one of these teams kick the shit out of Anaheim in the next round”

I hope this little psychology lesson helps you get through tonight’s game. If that doesn’t work, booze tends to help.

Go Sharks.

#FuckStace
#FuckPsychology
#FuckDustinBrown

WCQF Game 6: Superstitions

Well, we’re here guys. It is game 6, we’re here and it sucks but we’re here so lets do this together. Shoutout to everyone who said this series was going to be like the 2011 semifinals all over again; I hate your stupid pessimistic guts. I’m the most negative Nancy you’ll ever meet and I still thought that this series was going to be closed out in 5 games. I hope you all get the most acidic diarrhea ever.

“FOOL ME ONCE, shame on you, FOOL ME TWICE, shut the fuck up, I hate you.” – Aristotle

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